I've often said that I would be spared of going to hell since much of my life I didn't make any decisions for myself. It's true, being in the control of elders often times makes life miserable since you basically live your life in a way that often times or for the most part brings somewhat of a gain to theirs. This can really make one dislike people. Think about it! You get all of these elders making decisions and ruining the lives of people for their own benefit or happiness. As a result someone else has to live a life of unhappiness or discontent. Trust me at 53, I don't think I've made too much of a decision in my life as I have said before if I did that things would have worked out somewhat different. As we get older there is a realm that comes in to it all, as they say of choices that affect our future being or existence. Some may not see this as a concern, but others who know that perhaps the deeds they have done aren't warranted to stay behind those heavenly gates if you believe in such a thing. Anyone who generally makes another unhappy for their own intentions can't really expect others not to know. You need to ask if the other individual looks happy? Are they content in their surroundings? Do they seem to enjoy life? Are they living life to the fullest? The answer to all of these questions would be no. And you need to observe the obvious, does that person have the independence they need to live life on their own without assistance from the government? This is how you know other things are being done to alter the life of that individual. If the elders don't want you to have that independence they will cause you to live a life that is difficult in a sense because you cannot afford to care for yourself. The anguish in all of this is very much a sacrifice. I've spent, not in money of course because I never made very much; but in terms of blood, sweat and tears the anguish of almost twenty-five years in this sordid struggle due to others greed,sacrificial,or needy ways. It sucks to be put in this situation because as an adult you're supposed to be in control somewhat of your own life. I don't think I've ever made one real decision regarding it. The good thing is that my lack of success can't be blamed on me. Failure is to those who for the past twenty-five years made this such an unhappy way for myself,purgatory really! Do you have to think about this one? But if there exist a freedom on earth one will be given the opportunity to find their own way and make their own decisions.
I believe there is an old saying that you shouldn't want to change the life you already have. I suppose that is true given the uncertainty or the fact that you not know what type of life you would have had if other things did not require you to do other things. But the real issue I suppose is when you have to do things you don't want to do or when you have to be that older person in life. Yeah, that's it. I think I've said that emotionally I me about 71 years old, so I'm really ready to retire since I will be 72 very soon. Life is certainly a struggle and mine was no different. It's just that there are many a time when people struggle too much or unnecessarily that makes things go from bad to worse. I hate Westchester it's the type of county that is designed for you not to go anywhere else. Which is strange given all of the s----y jobs I've had here. I really didn't go anywhere else. This is an area that is too expensive to live in but there seems to be no decent jobs available to earn a living to live here. Why is that? Westchester has no lack of residences in that they are always building homes and condos or some type of structure for people to come and live there. But when it comes to jobs or employment they don't offer very much. Then of course it becomes difficult to get anywhere else outside of Westchester because, you need to take several modes of transportation to get to and from work or where you need to be. Mount Vernon needs a central transportation hub. I'm going to contact the mayor to get working on it. There needs to be a redesign of the transportation system to allow for people to get to any area of the boroughs, or counties without too much trouble. Yup, the problem here is that things have a direction that does not interest the population of people, the direction is mostly one sided. In that if you live in Westchester then for the most part they expect you to work here as well but if you don't make very much money to work in Westchester then how can you live in Westchester? This county is known for doing every thing they can to keep people at minimum wage standards and the jobs are even that much more grueling. Another words, the city will pay you a monetary value or worth, that enables you to live and not have to depend on people to do so. You do a job and receive your monetary value. That is being fair or at least utilizing the concept of it. In Westchester the concept is quite different, "life makes one whole", as they seem to want to move away from monetary values or concepts and have one do a job based on what they are capable of doing including any burden to create adversity, that's how they solve "the pot and the kettle are still black" routine. So you're doing all of this work and still no monetary value, so you cannot afford to live in Westchester. And given all of the jobs they have to offer, if they say life makes you whole then, it probably does but not in Westchester. The pot and the kettle are still black, but if they want to use crayons as a mode of structure or caste in life, which they commonly do then one has to look elsewhere...
I'm a city girl at heart. I truly am. It's not that I don't think big homes and properties are not nice or even beautiful I just don't feel the connection or that warmth that comes with working and being in an environment that surrounds it. The huge buildings and the properties that surround them in Westchester bore me something awful. Being on a bus and driving through small hut towns and going through highway roads and huge lawns can take the fun out of life. It has been no fun working in Westchester. I don't know why I dislike it here in terms of work but I do. I never had the same happiness that I did while in the city. For once, I couldn't fool myself. Or at least into thinking that I would be happy just getting up like some hick and catching a bus not to far from where I lived to go to work, and having to navigate the bus system along with walking on highways and roads to get there. I like the idea of leaving a building and being done with it. To leave a building or even enter one for that matter among the sprinklers watering the grass in the summer and the icy sidewalks in the winter make being on large properties a nuisance. It is expensive to work in the city and there are times when you do like that quiet so working in the city has to be really considered since there are so many people and even as much traffic with all of the cars, trucks and everything else going on. But I hate working in Westchester and I have been miserable in working here for a long time. I just have no love in working in Westchester. No, I don't want to look around some huge property surrounded building. No, I don't want to buy some expensive food as if the prices of things don't compete with the city. And no, I don't want to go outside and chat with the locals. It's just a matter of time, space and distance. Yup, I feel pretty far away while working in Westchester. Things are much too spread out and not connected enough to really get any place without either walking in addition to taking transportation or taking an expensive cab for which I am not about to do. I live in Westchester, but hate working here, now what? The commute to the city is expensive, let alone the three buses I would have to take or two and including a train somewhere to get to many destinations. The only compromise or halfway solution to this is to find one of those jobs that allow people to work from home. I can do that. What's the difference, I mean I live in Westchester? I don't have a want to commute or go to any of the other towns here of course unless I have to. I need to find a company that offers work from home solutions, as far as I'm concerned I've already worked and really want to retire. Any suggestions...
Wait! You have not finished the one you're living in currently. The problem becomes when we as people are far from perfect and we make decisions based on the values and influences of others. It becomes complicated because we live in a society whereby people "don't often think for themselves". And to make things even more problematic we have old adults making decisions for able body or minded people and sometimes those people making the decisions for the person or individual do not have their best interest in mind. They say common sense is not so common but when you take a person and make them extremely miserable, then it's obvious you don't have their best interest in consideration. Otherwise, why would they be so miserable? Hopefully, now you get the point. Elders will say something like, "So what, we sometimes have to do things we don't like to do." The ones who always end up doing things they absolutely hate doing are usually doing it because someone else is totally avoiding their part of responsibility in life. It sucks because you have people that never seem to fully understand that we all have personal responsibility and if they end up going to hell it's probably because they put others through the scenario. This is not a society of balance and harmony. We truly have a caste system and it was rather invisible for a while. People went along as they were having a rather difficult time with things and had come to realize that in a caste system dues is always being paid. Of course there are others who never pay or don't pay as much. So now we know what to think about in the next life and how this one will improve upon the next existence. Yes, correct when you've paid too much you often think about retirement. I can't say enough about it. In life things should balance out but when you have dues that is mostly one sided, what type of life do you expect one to have? The foundation of the caste system is what prevents a certain balance in that, yes, you want someone to have an awful, awful life, as you do what you can to control and keep the caste system afloat. But remember this is all just a physical mindset in a physical world and when time is up physically speaking there are those who will pay their dues tirelessly because of what they have done to others physically and of course based upon that so called value of appearance...
Look, life can be a b---- lots of the time and If you're like me you've rolled every which way. It's true that if you know me you are aware that I do not like hospitals or physicians offices because I do feel that there is a luxury or design in making money due to the misfortune of bad health of people. Insurance companies never limit the amount of doctors that enter a room to look at a patient and really they literally just look and pick their booties and leave and get paid for it. This does not benefit the patient and those insurance premiums just go up and up until no one can afford them. Physicians have no guilt they can just milk a patients terminal prognosis or try and do something about it to give them a longer chance to live. But this is of course if the physician really knows what he or she is actually doing. That is the problem because a lot of them don't and get through based upon who they know as opposed to what they know or are willing to learn. Then before you know it, the studying stops along with the learning of newer technologies and alternatives and that makes the physician quite useless. Now, despite my dislike for the medical world and all of the things people do to take advantage of a bad situation I do feel that people in these medical situations that are or can be considered terminal patients should be able to create their own treatment through toxic cleansing while in the hospital. For example: If a patient has more nicotine, carcinogens in their body than blood, well hey that's saying something. But do physicians ever measure this? Nope, they just look at the tumor or growth or mass and use that obvious indication as a predictor. Because this determines the health of the body since at least cancerous tumors will eventually cause a person to die. But my problem with medicine is that no physician looks at the situation and says" look while me and my medical people decide what to do, we are going to detox your body along the way-give it life in a healthy way. This would eliminate the amount of pain killers or sleeping pills you give to a patient to have them stop complaining about the pain and generally; this is done just to keep them quiet so physicians can make the money and go home. This does not cure or remedy a patient or even prolong life. It just eases the suffering by making the patient a zombie and just think how much physicians get paid along the way and they call this dignity. A person should not have to stop working to care for a family member and then be homeless or destitute as a result once the person dies because they lack the financial resources to support themselves-that ain't dignity either. Matter of fact you have stopped life for the person who is sick and should be considering alternative treatment and for the one whom you stopped life for by making them stop work to care for the individual in some sort of sacrificial way. Hey, that's twice. This whole thing or double jeopardy just kills two with one stone. That certainly ain't dignity. Who lives besides the doctors when this is all said and done? And of course unless you have jeopardy's money, clout or financial resources you shouldn't be having anyone quit, stop or leave a job just for them to become destitute or homeless in the end because you leave a person without financial resources, family to fend for themselves. When you're gone, is this your way of taking your survivors with you? Is this your dignity in that to die you have to somehow end the lives of others? That's not the dignity you should be remembered for and it's not something to easily be forgotten. To be honest any soul of a person or individuals who do this are not going to be resurrected in to heaven. It's not --- Watson, these people are more like BM Watson all over the place, with these types of treatment plans- physicians included!
I never thought I would be in this situation in thinking about retirement. It's quite pathetic that I find people boring and many of the jobs the same. Ok, work is work and some say it's not supposed to be fun. But I thought the reason that people learned things or picked a study of sorts was to hopefully do something that they liked. Instead, life is strange and it makes easy enemies out of people by putting them in jobs or employment that they want nothing to do with. It teaches sacrifice and hate at the same time. I mean you loved what you had to sacrifice and absolutely hate what they have given you in place of it all. They say hate is a strong word, but don't knock it because there is nothing like getting up in the morning and going to a place you despise. I'm not a people person, too much yak, yak. I honestly don't care if people don't get that and want a more talky environment. It would be so great if I could retire on the basis of this. There has to be a way for this to be done. Naturally, people just age out of interest and communication with the rest of the working population. I can admit feel that way. Although, I've still got the ability to do most if not all things that I could do from years past. I still have all of my capabilities and then some. But it's the time I've spent among all of the bull----. The years weigh heavily and the desire to work is no longer there. It becomes a bummer because emotionally or in work years I'm like seventy-one or something. So I should be allowed to retire and collect a social security check as an emotionally worked seventy-one year old person. This is some serious madness. People who don't go through the bull---- or are not there yet really don't see how employment takes a toll on a person. It was all too much and for such selfish and pitiful reasons. Working under the Thirteenth Amendment is not an easy feat. It's tough work and there has to be reparations for it. If I work another let's say sixteen or seventeen years that will make me or my age then about 70 or 71, but emotionally, I will be 86 or 87, which will be fine because I can surely retire then, but what about my sanity afterwards? No one should be that emotionally old in the workplace or once they retire. I do ask, if there is a God in Heaven answer my plea-let me have the resources financially to retire now, with a whole lot to spare for a rainy day, because I've had a lot of them!
I just thought of something and wouldn't it be nice if people could take responsibility for themselves? They normally do this by putting the penance on other people. But in doing so they create a world of misery because it's usually the other person who has to carry the weight or burden or extreme responsibility that would not have occurred if the correct thing was done in handling a situation. I dislike people who are intentional burdens in that they just cause problems to create situations or lives like the one I am currently living. If you say or believe "It's not etched in stone", then you just go about your life as regular or what regular is and not worry about the matter at hand. The evil in this is when you say "It's not etched in stone" and you then take people who have nothing to do with your issue or way of life and you then involve them in some kind of land of make believe or fraudulent approach to create a desired effect out of what you believed was "not etched in stone". I live this was as many others do. What I was doing wasn't really real(see stinky resume), it was just a concept of taking the ashes of my former self and using them to do a bypass or allow others a free pass to escape the world of personal responsibility. When you have people that misrepresent themselves in the medical profession you need to evaluate what the underlying problems are. When you allow religion and other sordid factors to decide, "How are you going to accomplish the feat of un-etching a stone", then you have really done more damage than was originally because you now involve people who have or had nothing to do with your particular situation and put them into the unenviable place of trying to remove your burden or damage without you even talking personal responsibility yourself. That is religious abuse.This sucks in a major way because, you have people whose minds function as though they are in the land of make believe and feel that they can use people in that way to achieve "a stone un-etching" without them changing their lives somewhat so that they are not drastically affected by this or otherwise taking personal responsibility for something. It's relatively easy to put the burden on someone and then walk away from the dilemma and retreat to your land of make believe. This is how people for many years have created that illusional land of "milk and honey" for themselves and pretty much get away with things. But the truth is that land is full of intolerance, just like white milk and the others just make things sticky. The underlying problems and living in the land of make believe, do people believe that God would be proud of all that was done to avoid personal responsibility and to perpetuate hate or dislike among differences? There is a reality, I keep telling myself. Wouldn't it be nice if people didn't take personal responsibility, well... so personal? Because this approach of putting it on others certainly does not make people well!
No, I don't like doing so because it seems to take me an eternity to not only get to work but to also get home. Taking two buses to get to work wreaks havoc on a person because of all of the travel time you spend waiting to catch the other bus or as they say "make your connection" to either work or home. With the bus tickets the transfer is included, but if the prices increase again and they decide to charge for the additional fare to transfer to another bus; this will become a huge problem. As little as people make they will then need to find employment that is just a bus ride away. These towns are too spread out, far apart and they got this distance thing between them where there is just land,land,land. I'm not terribly fond of this. And of course not enough bus routes to give people a choice in transportation. Yes, it keeps you healthy; because a person must walk a great deal to get to their nearest destination of travel. The problem with towns who call themselves neighboring is that they are a distance away and still an entity unto themselves. You either got one bus that goes through the joint periodically or you will take a train that stops a ways away from where you live so that you will have to find another connecting train that is closer to where you live, which will add more time and money to your travel or walk. There are of course taxis, cabs and all sorts of car transportation that you can use to finally get home, but these rides do cost money. There must be a way to voluntarily limit the distance from work to home, if you are able to do so by finding a job or employment that is only one bus ride away. In many situations people don't have much of a choice, depending on what they do for a living and where the job is located-certain types of jobs are not always nearby. Employment agencies and employers need to understand that it costs a great deal to commute back and forth to work and perhaps by employing those who reside near the workplace or within a reasonable distance where the commute is not a lengthy one, you get workers who are more focused because they don't worry so much about the commute to work and then the one going home. The bus fares went up, so it's cheaper to pay per ride and to make sure you do all you need to do on a single fare, so that you don't spend extra if you don't have to. This time around, it does not pay to buy in bulk or monthly -especially at those prices!
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I had a reaction which was quite strange. It was time for the dreaded make your car insurance payments. These people must think that most Americans or people who live in America are made of money. For the most part and I know some of you have had similar experiences whereby each and every time it is time to renew your car insurance the premium just gets higher and higher. Finally, you realize you can no longer afford them and look into a different car insurance company. Recently, my body got the chills, then the sweats then the nose sniffling, then the fatigue and then off to bed for an extended period of time because the feeling of being overwhelmed was way too much. I thought about why I was feeling this way and then I realized I had finished paying my premium for several months (anyways), and the reaction to this was not a good one. It was like torture giving them a chunk of money every chance I was able to pay them. Afterwards, of this experience I felt drained and was wondering what else to do since you can't drive without car insurance. Not that it can't be done, trust me it has, but in many situations you don't want to get caught. There has to be a way of regulating car insurance according to ones income. I'm serious. This way when we go to put those pathetic numbers in for calculation, the software just says hey you should only pay the minimum that is required by the state or s----, just take the bus. After finally paying it off, all I wanted to do was sleep. I have to get a grasp on this I really do. But the rising cost of car insurance is like kryptonite. They say bundles are cheaper, then why don't these auto, home, boat, rv and life insurance companies get in on the bandwagon and sell health insurance or those global health insurance plans where you are covered almost anywhere in the USA or the world. That would be a bundle to remember. One can bundle health insurance with: dental, vision and prescription along with other costs like for hearing(if needed). Hospital coverage should be included also. This is the perfect mix and match that can defray the cost of car insurance by a lot especially if this all goes according to ones income. The bundle with health insurance is the perfect bundle solution for difficult financial times such as now!
We never really seem to save money for things like old age. Honestly, we want to get there but before we do we should save so that we have some money put aside once we do. But the thing is that when we get a paycheck most of it is already spent. This of course means savings is not included. And, lots of times money goes towards odds and ends or things we could have done without. If you think about it it's that $2,3,4 or even 5 dollars thing that makes yo say, "I won't go broke if I spend this because I already am." This is a horrible mentality to have. So you spend the money anyway knowing that the amount was so small that it probably won't make much of a difference even if you put it in your piglet bank and let it stack up. This is why people spend without ever thinking that those few dollars each time add up. Then it occurred to me that if one were to put the money aside before it would ever be seen on a paycheck or available to spend this would be helpful in saving for old age. It's true that you would not see the money until you file your taxes but at least you would have some savings as opposed to nothing at all. Wow, this is great, another way to save money without ever having to say, "I need to put some money aside." It's all good now in knowing that there is a way to withhold money for that day of retirement and savings. The withholding form or W-4, will allow one to set aside money each and every paycheck without being able to spend it. Then once you go to do your taxes you will have an automatic savings that you can use for retirement. Spending money without really needing to spend it can prevent in many ways the ability to save money. The way to learn the value of saving is by putting small amounts of money aside each and every paycheck so that you won't spend it and then once tax time comes you will most likely get a refund that can be used to fund an IRA or buy bonds or put your money into some kind of savings account. Frugal cents, I call it. It was just a thought, especially when common cents is not so common!
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